Well...here goes! I have never been comfortable in my own skin.
I was born with a glaring facial birth defect. As you may have noticed in my pictures, my lip has a distortion due to a orofacial cleft. While I've had surgeries to repair the most visible issues associated with the birth defect, it still affects the way I view myself or how others might see me.
I have received more and more recent messages and lewd comments pointing out the issue. One instance involved someone ... on social media (Izak Pratt) who stated, "look the clefty said something smart" in a post I was commenting to. While I could only brush off the comment, his statement only added to the ever-growing issue I face when I look in the mirror or see myself in a picture.
In addition, I suffered from epilepsy when I was younger and that destroyed my metabolism. What does that mean? The medication I took to control my seizures stunted my body's ability to break down fat. I have to work ten times harder than most to lose weight. I have to carefully monitor what I eat or drink, because my weight fluctuates rapidly. That in turns means that I most likely will never have a picture perfect body, but c'est la vie.
Recently, I have begun to post more pictures and videos of myself on social media. The struggle of finding an image that I feel comfortable sharing isn't easy. My self doubting (the way that I look or what others might think) plays into each and every post. For years, I refused to take pictures of myself, with others, or smile because of the glaring issues associated with my birth defect and weight. There are periods of my life where no images exist. I was robbed of those memories and they only exist in my mind and those who experienced them with me. what to wear for a middle school prom party
I accept that I am not everyone's cup of tea, nor am I someone that everyone finds attractive. I accept that I can't abate other's lewd comments or physical hang ups. I accept that in order for me to be happy, I must accept myself with all the blessings and flaws I was given. I must find happiness in who I am and not really give two shits with other's think.
When I post a picture or video on social media, it isn't for likes or comments. I am trying to break down the internal stigmas I face and find solace in my own skin. I can only hope that this little glimmer into my life will make you see others as who they are, another beautiful human being with fears, stigmas, loves, and a passion for life.See More